Friday, December 31, 2010

Year in Review

2010 was definitely an eventful year. Here's a list of some of the big things:

-Enjoyed time with my wonderful husband and adorable daughter
-Bought our first house
-Got pregnant then sadly miscarried
-Began developing a budget and being more mindful of our spending
-Started to cook at least 3 nights/week
-Started a 529 for Hannah and Roth IRAs for both of us

We are hoping that 2011 brings us a new baby to love and the purchase of an investment property.

I also have a New Year's Resolution: To lower our monthly grocery/household expenses

We currently spend at least $650/month on food and household items. My goal will be to drop that to a maximum of $500/month in the next year. That would save us $1800/year. Here are some ways we will be saving:

-Using coupons & shopping the sales
-COOKING (greatly reducing pre-made dinners!)
-Checking what we have regularly and not wasting food

Here's to a great 2011! Happy New Year!

Monday, December 27, 2010


Ours was lovely! We spent Christmas Eve with my mother-in-law & family and Christmas with Dave's dad and my family later on in the evening. Here are some pictures:
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In other news, we have started cooking more of our meals. We typically would eat processed meals like Digiorno's, Stouffer's Lasagna, Tyson pre-cooked chicken, etc. We would only cook pasta or Kraft Mac & Cheese. We now make MUCH less of that and are cooking things like Chicken & Rice, Baked Smothered Chicken, Pork Chops, Pasta Pizza, and more! We use basic cookbooks and Meijer Mealbox. Overall, we have made some pretty good meals! Once December is over, I will total up our grocery bill to see if we saved any money. I hope so!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

So what have I been doing?

Moving on. Or trying to, at least.

The past month I've been trying harder to find ways to make and invest money. I'm making $20+ a month doing online surveys. Dave and I are starting to talk about investing in real estate. We have some money that would be better put to use in an investment than a bank account. We plan to buy somewhat locally and have a property manager take care of the house. We also know we want to purchase a single family home and not a condo or townhouse. The real estate adventure will probably be in the spring as we want a few more months to save money. Plus we would rather buy a house in warm weather. We are NOT interested in adding another mortgage (incidentally, we are well on our way to paying off our home early!), so we will be putting 100% down.

Hannah is talking more and more and loves her new play kitchen. After Christmas, I'll likely post some pictures from the holidays. We have a busy week planned with trips to my mother-in-law's, father-in-law's, and my grandparents over a two day period.

I still want another baby. The focus on real estate, work, and Hannah are distracting me a bit, but it still feels like an ache in my heart. We are praying that this is our month. Even though the due date would be September 11, 2011. And even though it would mean missing the first two months of the school year. We should know in 2-3 weeks if we expecting a new little one yet.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Busy times

Well we've all been through the runner, here.

About 2 weeks ago, Hannah got diagnosed with her first ear infection. She was put on antibiotics for a couple days and all seemed fine. Then that weekend she spiked a high fever and was miserable. Turns out she had a throat infection too. One shot at the pediatrician made her better, though! Then a few days later, I caught an eye infection and the flu. Finally, we are all healthy.


TMI, but I am still bleeding from my miscarriage. Yes, 6.5 weeks later it's still going on. I thought it was AF, but I just don't know. My OB wants me to redo my blood work to check my hcg levels and make sure my iron isn't too low. I also have to do an ultrasound and have a follow-up visit. My appointment is on Tuesday. I'm nervous. It could be anything from an infection to remaining tissue to a hormonal imbalance to Lord knows what else.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

She finally showed her ugly face

AF did, that is.

And now we can possibly begin the road of TTC again. I've been waiting for this for over a month and now that it's so soon, I'm starting to get scared. Scared that maybe we'll miscarry again or that it will take a long time. I'm trying to trust and pray that God knows best. He knows what to do. ::Sigh:: I always knew about the high risk of miscarriage, but I have now completely lost any naivete about pregnancy. There will always be that fear of spotting or just not feeling right.

Shall we lighten the mood a bit?

We didn't go trick or treating because it was a bit cold that night. Instead we dressed her up and had her look cute by the door!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Perpetual State of Waiting

I'm whining, I know.

Really though, I feel like I'm waiting for so many things.

-My hcg levels to go down to 0
-AF to arrive
-TTC again
-Getting pregnant
-Dave leaving his job

I am trying so hard to be patient, and I honestly feel like my heart has been more trusting in the Lord. I think I'm just so anxious for those events to occur that I think about them frequently.

One of the shining spots in life is that Hannah is such a joy right now. She's been a bit cranky about going to bed but I hope it's just a short term phase. She recently learned how to blow kisses, and it's just about the cutest thing she's ever done.

We've been reading a chapter of Proverbs aloud during snack time every day too. I know she doesn't understand what it means but I think it's important to expose her to Bible principles and verses at a young age. I want her to grow up familiar with the terms and lessons within. After we read, we also pray which I think is so important for Hannah to see and for us to do as a family.

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Friday, October 22, 2010

I think it's time for another Bump break.

I stopped going on that site for about 2 weeks. I went back on and only would go on for about 10 minutes every few days. Fine by me.

Then it increased. Now I'm starting to want to be on it for 1 hour+ each day. Not the best idea. I think it's time to stop again-maybe for at least 3 weeks this time.

Hannah has had such a language explosion! She now says ball, baby, Jesus, Papa, mama, dada, duck ("guck"), and maybe a couple of other words. It is so cute to see her point to Jesus in her Bible stories and say "Jees." Love it!

I am still anxiously awaiting the chance to get pregnant again. The loss doesn't sting as much as it did, but I am looking forward to moving on. I thought I was getting AF today, but I'm 99% sure it was just more bleeding. My hcg levels were are 17 as of yesterday. I was hoping they'd be at zero, but hopefully they will be by next week.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Laziest person ever

That's me.

I swear all I do is spend time on the computer.

Anyways, time for some updates:

Hannah news: She is saying so many more words. It's been a complete word explosion in the last few weeks. She now says ball, baby, papa, Jesus, lunch, and of course mama and dada. She's getting really good at climbing up and down the stairs and she kisses everything. It's so cute!

My miscarriage recovery is going well. My beta hcg levels were at 31,000 when I went to the ER on Sept 25th. As of Thursday, they were at 81. I'm happy with the relatively rapid decline. I'm anxious for AF for get here so we can restart the process of TTC.

Dave and I are also doing well. With him working more morning shifts, we've have some extra time together in the evenings. I think it helps me feel a bit more connected, for which I am grateful.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010


Throughout the last few weeks, my church has been doing a series on sins that are "not that bad" Sins like anxiety and impatience.

Impatience. Now there is one I struggle with.

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That picture? That is exactly how I'm feeling on several occasions. I get so impatient with slow drivers, or getting lost, or not being able to find a place to park. I get impatient with the internet and things not working the way I think they should.

I'm paraphrasing here, but our pastor created a working definition of impatience that goes something like this: Feeling very annoyed by the perceived faults and failures of others. That's me. And that's sin.

My goal this week will be to pray when I start to feel impatience. Specifically, to pray for those to whom I am so impatient. And to remember this verse:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I've had a lot of thoughts and emotions rolling through my head lately, and I'm going to attempt to make a coherent post.

1. I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. Or should be. I feel like I'm mourning a pregnancy that didn't work. I'm sad that our pregnancy wasn't viable, and I wish it didn't happen. But I don't feel like I'm grieving someone's death. Knowing that a baby never developed is really helping me come to terms with this loss.

2. There are things that still make the miscarriage "hit" me, so to speak. Like reading Bill and Guilliana Rancic's story of IVF then miscarriage. I nearly cried reading that article because pregnancy loss sucks enough without having to need fertility treatments to get there in the first place. We are forever grateful and blessed to have high mutual fertility. And a quote I read today nearly made me lose it: "Lord, I would have loved a chance to sit my baby on my lap and tell him about You. I didn't get a chance, so would you sit him on Your lap and tell him about me?" I'm not sure how Biblical it is, but it affected me all the same.

3. I want to get pregnant again. Soon. Right now we plan on waiting for AF to arrive and then going from there. We're trying to weigh doctor's advice with an overwhelming Godly desire to create life again.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

More thoughts on the miscarriage

One of the many things this miscarriage has taught me is not to avoid TTC for stupid reasons.

I do really want to wait a year between full term pregnancies. I think it's healthier for me and baby, though I understand why others choose differently. And I get waiting if you really just can't afford another, though we are doing well financially. Thank God!

However, I used to say things like "I want a spring or summer baby. I don't want to be stuck at home all winter with a newborn and fall birthdays are complicated with when to send them to kindergarten." Ridiculous. Now I honestly don't care when another baby comes. I just want a healthy baby and whether it's in October or July isn't really that big of an issue. I also don't care how it affects work. If I can get pregnant with an August baby, I'll have to miss the first month of school. Oh well. There are more important things.

Monday, September 27, 2010

I was right

Though I wish I wasn't.

After some bleeding this weekend, I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. So even though I should be 9 weeks, at 6 weeks something went wrong. Biology didn't happen the way it should and no baby developed. Just a gestational sac.

I am really trying to see the silver lining. At least there wasn't a baby that died. God knows best. This wasn't the baby that was supposed to join our family. It doesn't help though that I got it confirmed on my birthday.

I need to take Cytotec this weekend to pass everything. It should take roughly 24 hours then I go back next week to make sure everything went okay. I also need to get weekly blood draws until my body realizes it isn't pregnant anymore. I was told to wait 3 cycles before trying again, but I'm not waiting that long.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Okay I'm just going to say it

I don't have a good feeling about this pregnancy. And that scares me. A lot.

When I was in my first trimester with Hannah, I was nervous about miscarrying for the first couple weeks after finding out. But by week 7 I started getting so sick that I was just focusing on not throwing up all day long. Plus the obvious pregnancy symptoms helps reassure me that things were coming along as they should. Even when the nurse couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler at the 12 week appointment, I still knew everything was fine. And as the ultrasound indicated, everything was.

This time I just don't have that "all is well" feeling. My symptoms are way less this time around. I have had a couple bouts of nausea and some food aversion, but that's it. I'm 9 weeks today. And I just don't feel as confident. Maybe it's because I know so many women who miscarried on second pregnancies and with joining mommy message boards I've been exposed to so many miscarriage stories. I'm hoping it's just those getting in my head and not my body's way of telling me something.

I guess all I can say is that if April comes around and I'm holding a beautiful baby boy or girl, I will be elated. So joyful and blessed. But if this pregnancy ends, I will grieve and mourn but know that I had that feeling all along...

Sunday, September 19, 2010

What is God's calling for me?

That is a question I've been wrestling with a bit lately.

I know God has given me the following gifts and desires:

-To be a wife and mother
-To know and apply Scripture
-To work with young children

And I know these things are all glorifying to God. But I don't know exactly how to use these skills to further His kingdom.

This post likely won't make much sense because I'm still trying to figure this out myself. Let's put it this way, things were much different when I was involved with college ministry. Back then I was dating and engaged to Dave, but we weren't married yet. I didn't have the responsibilities that come with marriage. And I definitely didn't have any kids to take care of! So back then I could attend 2-3 Bible studies a week plus Sunday service. I was getting together with friends and frequently giving Scriptural advice. It's at that time I realized God had given me a unique ability to recall Bible verses and use them to advise and encourage others.

The main point is that when I was in college, I was working for God's kingdom in a very tangible way. I don't feel that way much right now. I do have our couple's life group where we help each other, and it really is a blessing. But ministering as a mother is very different than ministering to college students. I can read Bible stories to Hannah and pray with her, but it's not the same as guiding 18-22 year old women through the Bible in face of our culture's opposition to it.

I guess I'm still trying to figure out how to work for God in this stage of my life. In the years of pregnancy and caring for young children both at work and at home. I want to live my life so that God tells me "Well done, good and faithful servant". Not as one merely escaping the flames.

Monday, September 13, 2010

I still feel fine

I'm bracing myself, but I really don't feel that sick. Let's hope this lasts!

In other news, two of my friends have had babies in the last few days. There are so many newborn pictures on Facebook that I can hardly stand it. I'm about 33 weeks from my due date, but my heart aches to hold my own baby.

Hannah has been on and off the last couple days. She does a lot of cute things. Her new word is "yuck". So she puts things in her mouth and says, "yuck". The funniest was when she stuck her toe in her mouth and said it. I imagine sucking on your toes when you've been walking around all day wouldn't be too tasty!

On the other hand, she's been a bit whinier and clingier than normal. I'm not sure if this is just a developmental phase or if it's related to the molars I think she is getting. She's also got a runny nose and lots of drool. Fun times for all!

Oh and 2 weeks until my birthday!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

It's that weird time

That time in pregnancy when you're expecting the all-day, soul-crushing nausea to rear its ugly head. I am about 6.5 weeks along, and last time the sickness came in full force at 7 weeks. I was invited by MIL to go up to her cottage this weekend with Hannah, but I'm not sure I'll be going. I'm already starting to feel kind of blah, and I REALLY don't want to be sick the whole weekend in an unfamiliar house. We'll see.

School started today, and it went really well. We only have 6 kids, but I'm really hoping more sign up. I'm starting to get frustrated with our frequent low numbers. I don't know if it's because we're only half days, our classroom is small, we don't market it well, or what. At least I get paid the same regardless of number of kids!

Hannah is doing awesome. She likes to wear my glasses:

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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Today is the first day

of our new budget system.

We have our expected expenses listed out. We've got the envelopes and spots for our receipts. We are ready to have a greater understanding of where our money is going.

Instead of getting our credit card statements and saying "What?!? How did we spend over $1000 this month?!"

I really, really hope it goes well. This is basically a trial run to see how it works. We can always tweak if needed. We're watching this series from Life Church called "Mind Your Own Business" that's all about financial responsibility. It's helping us stay focused and motivated.

In other news, Hannah is adorable. Seriously, she talks in jargon and it is hilarious! I can't believe how much I am enjoying this young toddler phase. She's so sweet and wants to read books all day long.

I feel like I have been 5 weeks pregnant forever. I don't know how things are dragging so soon into this, but I hope that changes soon.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Are you stupid?

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid."
Proverbs 12:1

I believe the Bible is true. That means this verse tells me I can be a real idiot!

Hating correction is so very common. It stings our pride and attacks our need to always be right. I know I don't like it when people point out my flaws. Rationally, I hear them and even agree, but emotionally, I just get angry! I have this sense of "I am an adult. Hmph! How dare you correct me?"

But this verse is not only for children. It's an important one for parents to instill in their kids, but everyone who hates correction is stupid. I need to pray for a humbler heart so that I can gladly receive correction. No matter who it is from.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I got stung by a bee today at work. My first ever bee sting, and it was right on my neck! I didn't realize the bee was on me, and I touched my neck. He apparently didn't like that. With ice, the swelling is low but it still stings a bit.

As for good news, I have my first appointment set! It's on Thursday September 9th. I'll be almost 7 weeks along. It's really just a chat with the nurse practitioner, blood work, etc, but it's something! It's still so early that it doesn't really feel "real" yet.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Guess what I got this morning?

A positive pregnancy test!!!

We are due April 29, 2011.

We are praying for a healthy pregnancy and for the ability to keep it a secret for now. We don't plan to let people in real life know for several more weeks.

Friday, August 20, 2010

I will not be a POAS addict

I won't.

Even though I'm dying to test.

I'm expecting my period to come sometime between yesterday and tomorrow. Obviously, it's not here yet.

However, I'm not going to take a test until I am at least 1 day late. I don't want to waste a test and get a false negative. Now that we're down to a couple days though, the waiting is HARD! I feel much more hopeful this month.

In other news, we are trying to live life on a budget. We never really budgeted before just made vague statements like "let's eat out less" and "let's limit our spending". No concrete plans for our money. Right now we are only in the beginning stages but I'm hoping that September will be a new start. As we move toward Dave being a stay at home dad, we'll need to be sure our finances our in order!

In the end, we want to be good stewards of God's gifts to us. God entrusts us with children and with money, and we ultimately need to be wise with both.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Where I spent my day

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Today I went with my mom and sister to tour Western Michigan University. AKA my alma mater.

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The tour was AWESOME. I went there and know the good and bad, and I was honestly impressed with the school today. There are several changes just since I started there in 2004, and they make campus much more convenient and better equipped.

I even was able to get together for lunch with one of my friends from the area. She was so instrumental in helping me develop my relationship with God my senior year of college. I can't even express how great it was to see her-it had been nearly 2 years! We talked about our churches, small groups, and just how our lives are going.

I took Hannah with me, and she did fairly well! She stayed in her stroller for nearly 1.5 hours and even slept for about 20 minutes. Once I took her out to walk though, she was happy as can be. She thought it was hilarious to walk down all the campus hills!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Time Suckers

Guess where I spend most of my time on the internet?

The Bump

AKA this terribly addictive site with lots of info on babies and children. The most addicting part was by far the message boards. I actually haven't racked up that many posts, but reading the boards allowed me to waste hours on the internet.

-Various Harry Potter fan fiction websites. Don't judge me. I haven't written any and have no plans to do so. However, I enjoy searching for a good story.

So, my new goal. No more Bump. At all. I seem to need all or nothing with that site so it's going. I know my presence on there is not glorifying to God or useful in any way. It really is just a way to discover things on which you disagree with people.

And I am going to continue keeping up with 1 Harry Potter fan fic author since I adore her writing. But that's it. No more searching for stories.

Interested in the awesome author? --> sand_dollar from HPFF

What will I do with my extra free time? Hopefully get into the Word a bit more. And I just signed up for a bunch of survey programs so maybe I can make the family some extra money. Wish me luck!

Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm so proud of her

I love reading. I have ever since I was 7 years old. So I get such joy out of seeing my daughter pretend reading. For months now, she has loved flipping through books and even corrects books when they are upside down. Lately all she wants to do is listen to stories.

The other day, however, she really impressed me.

Earlier in the day, I vaguely gestured to the book Twinkle Toes and asked her to get it. She did so right away. That made me wonder if she was recognizing titles. Later, the three of us were in her play room when I asked her to get the book, I Love You All Year Long. She smiled, walked into her room, and brought back the correct book! She did it again with 3 or 4 more titles! I'm so impressed with her. She looked so proud of herself too.


Okay I want to expand on this post and why I am so happy with this.

Hannah doesn't really say any words beside mama and dada. We think she might be starting to say "no" (even though I don't think we use it that much!) and "quack". But it seems like every mommmy blog I read or message board I frequent has children her age or even younger spouting off words left and right. So to me, her receiving those books proved that while she doesn't have a lot of verbal language, her receptive language is right there. She understands what we say, and that's such a huge part of language development.

Also, rationally I know Hannah's limited vocab is not a cause for concern at all. She's not even 15 months old yet. And she's really coordinated so I know her strengths right now lie in physical development. Still, I think it's always nice to have confirmation that yes, your child is on the right track.

Friday, August 6, 2010


I think a lot. That sound ridiculous, but it seems like my mind is constantly running. Most of it with plans. And not daily or weekly ones, but future goals. I have this running dialogue of "We will have a baby in April 2011 (nope not pg yet), we will have Dave become a stay at home dad, I will look for additional employment, oh yeah maybe I should PRAY ABOUT THIS!"

I like to be in control. I like to know what's going to happen and at least attempt to plan ahead. The idea of not knowing what my life will look like in a year's time is overwhelming. It's the sin of Eve, and I definitely inherited it.

I'm struggling with just learning how to relax. Learning to stop thinking months and years in advance and just living each day. It's not easy, but I don't think anyone ever said it would be.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Monday, August 2, 2010

Summer Fun

Just a few pics I haven't gotten around to posting!

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Friday, July 30, 2010

Getting into the Word

So about my Bible reading...

It's been a struggle lately. Our church does something called The Text Project-( where they email you one chapter of the Bible each day. I get that in my Google Reader. Whether I read online or in my "real" copy, I'm having a hard time getting into it.

Sometimes I read and it just doesn't interest me. I almost want to whisper that because it sounds so bad! But it's the truth, and I want to be open about my struggles. Other times I read it, and I think "I know this. I've read this". I'm having trouble with reading the Bible as though it is a living document. I want the Spirit to help me increase my understanding because I know I have more to learn.

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Church, on the other hand, has been great lately. I'm getting a lot out of the messages. Lately, they've been about the legacy of families. And how your flaws are often passed on to your children. My biggest sin issue? Probably negativity.

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" Philippians 2: 14-15

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Month 1 failed

I got confirmation that I'm not pregnant. Oddly, I'm not nearly as disappointed as I thought I would be. We had always planned to try for a May 2011 baby. It wasn't until we heard a sermon encouraging us to let God lead our lives, that we thought of moving up the date. We started trying because we couldn't think of a good reason not to. If our second cycle is successful, I will be due April 29, 2011. Not a May baby, but my cycles have been much shorter than in the past. I really hope it works this time. I know it takes the average couple 3-4 cycles, but it happened with Hannah on the first try.

Summer is half over. I've been attempting to plan several lessons for the fall. My hope is to get lots done before I get pregnant. Or at least before the exhaustion and nausea hit. I'm not looking forward to that, but I'm anxious for another pregnancy all the same.

I finally finished reading the Circle series by Ted Dekker. It's such a sad, yet accurate description of human nature. It's also a beautiful representation of God's love and sacrifice. I'll likely write more on it someday, but not tonight. Tonight I will relax a little bit more until Dave gets home.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Broadstripe is a horrible, horrible company

I am so mad I could explode! When we first bought our house, we used Broadstripe as our cable/phone/internet provider. We had problem after problem.

-Our technician left on installation day without giving us any welcome packet or explaining anything about the phone. As a result, we had no idea how to access our voicemail.

-Our tech also told us that our phone would begin service in 2 days. While it turns out that the old number was still valid at that time. Our number, for some reason, didn't kick in for over a week. So we told everyone the wrong number initially.

-Our cable and internet would frequently stop working or there would be channels missing.

-When we signed up, we picked a package for $89.99/month. Every bill we got was for $137. We called twice to fix this and nothing was ever done.

-After cancelling our services, we got yet another bill. I called and they said we would get a refund upon returning our equipment. Fast forward a few weeks and we get a $380 bill because we haven't returned the equipment yet. We were never told about any charges or time limit. I have switched providers before and have never been charged anything.

I just wrote up a complaint letter that I plan to mail. I tried to be as nice as possible, but I want them to know that they are acting dishonorably. Thankfully, our experience with AT&T has been much better!

Friday, July 16, 2010

I love the way we parent

Really I do. I spend far too much time on the internet and have heard of all kinds of crazy parenting. Here are some examples:

1. "I could never leave my baby overnight!"
-I love the nights Hannah stays over at her grandma's. It gives them a chance to bond more, and it gives Dave and I some time together without worrying about a baby/toddler.

2. "I don't believe in disciplining my child. Kids will be kids and giving them time outs is mean"
-Insert blank stare here. I am all for kids learning that there are consequences to their actions.

3. "So what if my 3 year old is still drinking from a bottle? It's not like he'll go to kindergarten with it!"
-Honestly. Suck it up and take it away. You'll have a few rough days and nights, but your kid will get over it. Really.

In the end though, I honestly don't care how others parent their kids. But I'm often thankful that I don't feel the same way!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Big Changes


We are at a point where we are just sick of Dave's job. He works retail, and he is on mostly nights and weekends. Unless he schedules it at least 6 weeks ahead of time, he works every Saturday and Sunday. And his schedule constantly changes at the last minute, and there's little he can do. It's so frustrating. I know others work difficult schedules like this, but I bet they're getting paid more. Not to mention he doesn't exactly get treated well by customers or his superiors.

So our dream would be for him to work another year. At that point, he would leave his job and I would hopefully find a way to earn money from home. I've already applied for a couple jobs. One is for data entry and another is for online scoring. I would also continue teaching in the mornings. Of course this means we would have to get our own health/life insurance, retirement plans, etc. It's a lot to think about. But with Dave so miserable, I really think we could do it. We would just need to plan well.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Know what I long for?

More opportunities for play dates. Has anyone else noticed that all the classes and play dates are on weekday mornings? I wish there were more opportunities for things in the early evening. Since the ones that go until 8:30 pm are just too late. It's things like this that make me wish I was a full time SAHM. I would love to have more chances to get Hannah to socialize and it would be so nice to not have to work on Dave's days off! But I love my job and the extra income it provides. Dave and I are trying to make more of an effort to spend time together and get her socializing with other kiddos. The spending time together is getting much better.

We are making a stronger effort to get to church every week as well. The current series is on having a Gospel-centered family, and it has been very interesting. I'm constantly hearing about how punishment doesn't work and that even time-outs are bad. So it was encouraging to hear that children have to learn there are consequences for their actions. The pastor even talked a bit about spanking. I'm still not a fan, but I respect that it can be done appropriately. I hope to eventually implement time-outs, but I think Hannah is still a bit young.

This desire for more children has GOT to be from God because He knows my logical mind would never want to repeat the newborn stage. Take last night. We saw our friends with the 1 month old. Just by looking at them, I remember their pain. They are tired. They are frustrated with having a baby that cries much of the day. I remember that! I did not enjoy motherhood at all at that point! Yet I look at their little baby asleep on his mom's chest, and I think "I want one!" Good thing we are TTC and at least this time we have a bit more perspective when it comes to the rough early days.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


A couple friends of mine each just had a baby, and it's made me remember life when Hannah was that young. Honestly, I don't look back on that time fondly. Hannah needed to be held all day and the constant neediness drained me physically and mentally. It took a couple months before I really started to enjoy motherhood. That doesn't stop me from being excited about trying for number 2; now I know that the newborn stage is just something to get through.

Anyways, it made me think of the one thing that used to drive me crazy back then. I couldn't stand it when people said "she's such a good baby". Because my automatic thought was, "then why am I finding motherhood so hard?" I know they mean well, but my sensitive postpartum self took it as an insult. It's why I now try to empathize with new mothers.

Life is much easier with a toddler, that's for sure! All the same, here's a vintage picture of her:

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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The infirmary

I think my family is finally somewhat healthy. We found out last week that my nephew (who we had been staying with in WA) was diagnosed with pink eye. Cue Hannah's gross eye discharge and pink eyelids. Then a couple days later, Dave has the same symptoms. They both have completed their antibiotics and are doing much better.

Have I said before that I love this age? I love the walking, the receptive language improvements, the independent play. She's not really into temper tantrums yet and we are several months (if not more than a year) away from the dreaded potty training. It's just easy-going. Which is probably why we want to ttc soon!

I recently watched a sermon online from our church. The pastor talked about the nuclear family and what that ideally would look like. The part that stuck out to me? Teaching your kids how to submit to authority. I grew up with the idea that my mom was my biggest advocate. A noble idea, but I think it went too far. Anytime I was remotely upset about something or the slightest inconsistency presented itself, my mom would swoop in. As a result, I will do what the person in authority says, but I often bitterly complain about how unfair it is. My heart is no where near as submissive as my actions would suggest. The pastor talked about how his kids are in baseball and that if the coach tells them to do something a different way, do it the different way. I would argue with the coach. It's something for me to be aware of and work on.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

We're home!

Washington was such a nice trip. Hannah did okay on the first flight. She cried a bit more and slept a bit less than I was hoping for. She did really well on the flight home though! While in WA, we got to visit the local park, go to an indoor bounce house, take a tour of the army base they live on, and go to the Seattle Zoo. It was so nice spending time with my nephew and sister in law. Her husband got back from training the day before we left and it was great to see him too. Especially since it will be 2011 before we see him again!
Here are a couple pictures from our day at the park:
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

And now for a secret I will only admit on my blog-we have decided to TTC next month! I am so excited! Dave and I knew for a while that we want children close together. I think that often creates a closeness between the siblings. Dave knows this from personal experience of having a brother only 2 years younger than him. We wanted to wait until Hannah turned 1 to give my body a full year to recover. And we're not trying this month since, um, I don't really want a February/March baby. Silly reason-I know! Prayers though for an April (or maybe March since my cycles are crazy) baby!

I am almost done reading the book Green by Ted Dekker. It is part of the Circle series, and it's the first one I've read. I can hardly put it down! It is such an awesome picture of good v. evil and God's love for His children. And sadly, how likely we are to doubt His promises when He is not visible to us.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

So Big!

I forgot to write about Hannah's doctor appointment. At her 12 month well visit, she weighed 21 lbs 4 oz and was 30.75 in. That's the 90th percentile for weight and 94th for height! She's definitely growing well! The thing is, there was another 12 month old girl in the waiting room who was way bigger than Hannah. So I wasn't expecting such high percentiles. Anyways, the doctor was happy with her growth and development so all is well. She absolutely freaked out during the exam though. She kept clinging to me and crying. Poor baby! And poor doctor too...I can't imagine what it would be like to have kids scream at me all day.

Her party today went great! She enjoyed opening presents:
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

And eating cake:
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Her cake was originally on a plate, and she nearly picked up the plate, cake and all, and threw it on the floor. Before she could, everyone went" oooooo" and her little lip just quivered. We had to sing "Happy Birthday" again just to calm her down! Then all was well until she got very frustrated and tired and just needed a nap.

Friday, June 4, 2010

My internet is not supposed to be working

I'm not complaining though! We are changing providers and as far as I knew, my internet was supposed to be out the next few days. Guess not.

Hannah is 1! We spent her birthday at Jumpin' Jax-an indoor bounce house for toddlers-middle school age. It was our first time there, and we had a great time!

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Her party is on Saturday so I'm sure there will be more pictures to come!

We leave for WA in 4 days! I'm very excited, but it seems like there is so much to do!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Poor baby

Hannah woke up at 3:00 am with a 101 fever. It got up to 102.7 today. I checked her temp before bed and it was at 99.6, so hopefully it will keep going down. We haven't called the pediatrician yet, but we will if it reaches 103. This is the first time she's been sick like this. I'm not worried, but we're obviously keeping an eye on it.

Three more days until Hannah is 1 year old! I'm so amazed at how much she has grown and all that she can do. Her party is next Saturday, and I know she will love eating her birthday cake.

In other news, the preschoolers have graduated! Now I have 2 weeks off (aside from a couple trainings and meetings). Next week we head to WA so I need to start prepping for that. I'm a bit nervous as it is our first time flying with Hannah. Hopefully she will sleep the whole way!

Saturday, May 22, 2010


After getting pissed at Dave for forgetting to take the garbage to the curb yesterday, I forgot to set the alarm for this morning. As a result, he was over an hour late for work. He didn't get mad even though it really was my fault. Often times, my husband has much more grace and mercy in his heart than I do.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I can hear her babbling

Even though I put her yawning self down nearly 40 minutes ago. This child needs to nap! Perhaps this is what I get for putting 4 books in her crib. She just reads to herself and thinks sleeping is over-rated.

So do I win a bad parent award if I think her fits are funny? I absolutely know she is not doing full-out tantrums yet. She just growls, cries, or screams with a big ol' scowl on her face when she doesn't get her way. This mostly comes when we change her diaper or clothes. Or when she gets a hold of a pen that dropped and we take it away. We can easily redirect or distract her though so that's nice!

On that note, here's one thing about parenting that I don't understand. Why do people say they constantly chase their mobile baby around the house? I can't tell you how many times I've heard that parents are tired from keeping up with their crawler. Crawling made our life easier. It meant that when there was a toy across the room, she could get it herself. Do people that chase their kids not baby-proof? Hannah has free reign around here since we baby proof as needed. It's nice to not need to be up her butt while she is playing.

In other news, we got a new dining room table! Here are some pictures:

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

We assembled it ourselves. What a pain. And only 5/6 chairs are done which is why the one with her booster seat looks different. And holy moly was it ever a pain to keep her out of kitchen that day. Any time we put her down in the living room, she would crawl or walk right into the kitchen to see what daddy was doing. At least it's done and we love it!

Well now she's fussing. Here's to hoping she naps. I was planning on taking her grocery shopping today. We are getting low on formula so we might as well pick up some whole milk. Let's pray the transition goes well!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

It's been awhile

I am horrible at keeping up with this blog! I think it's knowing that nobody reads it! Still, I want to keep a record of what's been going on in our life. Since January a couple big things have happened.

1. We bought a house! We made an offer on the third house we saw. It was such an easy process and we feel so blessed. We put a significant amount down so we are actually paying less per month in the mortgage then we were in rent. And we are even paying extra. The goal is to pay off the house in 10 years.
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2. Hannah is walking! She isn't walking full time yet, but she does more and more each day. Since writing my last post, she has also learned to clap (10 months), wave (8 months), and point (10.5 months?). She is completely off bottles too. I really wanted her off bottles by 1 year and we accomplished that at 10.5 months. The transition was so easy, but we did it very gradually.

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I have less than 2 weeks with the preschoolers. A part of me is sad to see the year end. I had a really great group of kids and parents. And I will miss the kids that aren't coming back next year. But I'm so excited to be done with lesson planning for the summer!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Busy Week!

We met with a mortgage lender this week and got approved for more than we were hoping for. It was such a relief since getting all the paperwork ready for this meeting was so stressful! They require so much to approve you for a loan. Now we get to contact a realtor and start looking for a house!

Hannah and I took our first swim class today. She did really well in the water. She was a little scared at first, but by the end of the 30 minute class, she wasn't quite so clingy. There were some really nice moms there too. Speaking of nice moms, Hannah and I have our first group play date this weekend. I'm hoping to meet some great women and that Hannah enjoys the crawling time.

Oh and the day after I last posted, Hannah started pulling up on things. My mother in law thinks she's going to be a climber. I guess the higher energy level attributed to young moms like me will help!

Our life group is starting a parenting study next week. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm also a bit nervous. Parenting decisions are just so...personal. I often read/participate in parenting message boards and some of the philosophies I read just make no sense to me. I mean, I somewhat understand what they are staying, but I completely disagree. But I'm sure others feel the same about my views ;) We'll see how it goes!