Friday, July 30, 2010

Getting into the Word

So about my Bible reading...

It's been a struggle lately. Our church does something called The Text Project-( where they email you one chapter of the Bible each day. I get that in my Google Reader. Whether I read online or in my "real" copy, I'm having a hard time getting into it.

Sometimes I read and it just doesn't interest me. I almost want to whisper that because it sounds so bad! But it's the truth, and I want to be open about my struggles. Other times I read it, and I think "I know this. I've read this". I'm having trouble with reading the Bible as though it is a living document. I want the Spirit to help me increase my understanding because I know I have more to learn.

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

Church, on the other hand, has been great lately. I'm getting a lot out of the messages. Lately, they've been about the legacy of families. And how your flaws are often passed on to your children. My biggest sin issue? Probably negativity.

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" Philippians 2: 14-15

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Month 1 failed

I got confirmation that I'm not pregnant. Oddly, I'm not nearly as disappointed as I thought I would be. We had always planned to try for a May 2011 baby. It wasn't until we heard a sermon encouraging us to let God lead our lives, that we thought of moving up the date. We started trying because we couldn't think of a good reason not to. If our second cycle is successful, I will be due April 29, 2011. Not a May baby, but my cycles have been much shorter than in the past. I really hope it works this time. I know it takes the average couple 3-4 cycles, but it happened with Hannah on the first try.

Summer is half over. I've been attempting to plan several lessons for the fall. My hope is to get lots done before I get pregnant. Or at least before the exhaustion and nausea hit. I'm not looking forward to that, but I'm anxious for another pregnancy all the same.

I finally finished reading the Circle series by Ted Dekker. It's such a sad, yet accurate description of human nature. It's also a beautiful representation of God's love and sacrifice. I'll likely write more on it someday, but not tonight. Tonight I will relax a little bit more until Dave gets home.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Broadstripe is a horrible, horrible company

I am so mad I could explode! When we first bought our house, we used Broadstripe as our cable/phone/internet provider. We had problem after problem.

-Our technician left on installation day without giving us any welcome packet or explaining anything about the phone. As a result, we had no idea how to access our voicemail.

-Our tech also told us that our phone would begin service in 2 days. While it turns out that the old number was still valid at that time. Our number, for some reason, didn't kick in for over a week. So we told everyone the wrong number initially.

-Our cable and internet would frequently stop working or there would be channels missing.

-When we signed up, we picked a package for $89.99/month. Every bill we got was for $137. We called twice to fix this and nothing was ever done.

-After cancelling our services, we got yet another bill. I called and they said we would get a refund upon returning our equipment. Fast forward a few weeks and we get a $380 bill because we haven't returned the equipment yet. We were never told about any charges or time limit. I have switched providers before and have never been charged anything.

I just wrote up a complaint letter that I plan to mail. I tried to be as nice as possible, but I want them to know that they are acting dishonorably. Thankfully, our experience with AT&T has been much better!

Friday, July 16, 2010

I love the way we parent

Really I do. I spend far too much time on the internet and have heard of all kinds of crazy parenting. Here are some examples:

1. "I could never leave my baby overnight!"
-I love the nights Hannah stays over at her grandma's. It gives them a chance to bond more, and it gives Dave and I some time together without worrying about a baby/toddler.

2. "I don't believe in disciplining my child. Kids will be kids and giving them time outs is mean"
-Insert blank stare here. I am all for kids learning that there are consequences to their actions.

3. "So what if my 3 year old is still drinking from a bottle? It's not like he'll go to kindergarten with it!"
-Honestly. Suck it up and take it away. You'll have a few rough days and nights, but your kid will get over it. Really.

In the end though, I honestly don't care how others parent their kids. But I'm often thankful that I don't feel the same way!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Big Changes


We are at a point where we are just sick of Dave's job. He works retail, and he is on mostly nights and weekends. Unless he schedules it at least 6 weeks ahead of time, he works every Saturday and Sunday. And his schedule constantly changes at the last minute, and there's little he can do. It's so frustrating. I know others work difficult schedules like this, but I bet they're getting paid more. Not to mention he doesn't exactly get treated well by customers or his superiors.

So our dream would be for him to work another year. At that point, he would leave his job and I would hopefully find a way to earn money from home. I've already applied for a couple jobs. One is for data entry and another is for online scoring. I would also continue teaching in the mornings. Of course this means we would have to get our own health/life insurance, retirement plans, etc. It's a lot to think about. But with Dave so miserable, I really think we could do it. We would just need to plan well.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Know what I long for?

More opportunities for play dates. Has anyone else noticed that all the classes and play dates are on weekday mornings? I wish there were more opportunities for things in the early evening. Since the ones that go until 8:30 pm are just too late. It's things like this that make me wish I was a full time SAHM. I would love to have more chances to get Hannah to socialize and it would be so nice to not have to work on Dave's days off! But I love my job and the extra income it provides. Dave and I are trying to make more of an effort to spend time together and get her socializing with other kiddos. The spending time together is getting much better.

We are making a stronger effort to get to church every week as well. The current series is on having a Gospel-centered family, and it has been very interesting. I'm constantly hearing about how punishment doesn't work and that even time-outs are bad. So it was encouraging to hear that children have to learn there are consequences for their actions. The pastor even talked a bit about spanking. I'm still not a fan, but I respect that it can be done appropriately. I hope to eventually implement time-outs, but I think Hannah is still a bit young.

This desire for more children has GOT to be from God because He knows my logical mind would never want to repeat the newborn stage. Take last night. We saw our friends with the 1 month old. Just by looking at them, I remember their pain. They are tired. They are frustrated with having a baby that cries much of the day. I remember that! I did not enjoy motherhood at all at that point! Yet I look at their little baby asleep on his mom's chest, and I think "I want one!" Good thing we are TTC and at least this time we have a bit more perspective when it comes to the rough early days.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


A couple friends of mine each just had a baby, and it's made me remember life when Hannah was that young. Honestly, I don't look back on that time fondly. Hannah needed to be held all day and the constant neediness drained me physically and mentally. It took a couple months before I really started to enjoy motherhood. That doesn't stop me from being excited about trying for number 2; now I know that the newborn stage is just something to get through.

Anyways, it made me think of the one thing that used to drive me crazy back then. I couldn't stand it when people said "she's such a good baby". Because my automatic thought was, "then why am I finding motherhood so hard?" I know they mean well, but my sensitive postpartum self took it as an insult. It's why I now try to empathize with new mothers.

Life is much easier with a toddler, that's for sure! All the same, here's a vintage picture of her:

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