Fun in the snow

Hannah thoroughly enjoyed playing in all the snow last week! Now that it's getting warmer, she and Dave enjoy playing around outside in the morning. She says new words every day-most recently she has learned "boy", "oh my", "walk" and "kikky" for kitty.



I am still as undecided as ever on whether we should invest in mutual funds or real estate. Or rather I keep making a choice and then changing my mind the next week. Right now we are trying to cut our expenses so that we have more in savings and more to invest.

Now I'm discouraged again

I know I've been writing a lot about grocery budgeting lately.

The total for January was $536.78. Compare that to:
December: $757.50
November: $688.92
October: $654.91

So that's a savings of over $115 compared to our lowest previous month. I was really pleased to hit our goal of $550 monthly budget. We even stocked up on milk and bread to freeze that should last us at least 3 weeks into this month.

Then I watched another blogger's video series on getting a better grocery budget. She said with a little time and effort, you should be spending $20/person/week. Wow. We spent about $45 and I thought I used a lot of time and effort.

I know I should be happy about our savings. We are doing much better. It's just kind of a slap in the face when you think you are doing well and someone basically says you are not.

Anyways, here is the menu for this week:

Lunches:
Sandwiches
Pasta Pizza Leftovers (made on Sunday-menu is from Mon-Sun)
Cheese Quesadillas
Sandwiches
Chicken & Pasta Leftovers
Cheese Quesadillas
Sandwiches

Dinners:
Logan's Roadhouse (Dinner to celebrate friend's birthday)
Chicken Mozzarella
Chicken Mozarella Leftovers
Chicken & Pasta
Frozen Pizza (likely a Digiorno since they are $3.99 at Target this week!)
Pork Chops
Pork Chop Leftovers


I'm happy with our dinner recipes, but I'd like to get some more variety for lunch...

Weekly Grocery Budget

We did really well last week!

Meijer: $87.14 (Saved $15.66)
Meijer (Trip 2): $4.03 (Saved .55)-This was just to get some jello and pudding.

Total Spent This Week: $91.17
Total Saved This Week: $16.21


Still making progress! Cutting coupons and buying things on sale is really helping us. If we can get our budget to $550 this month, I'll be happy.

More Bible Verses

So I have two new verses for my scripture memorization goal.

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. Revelations 3:15-17

That one I have memorized. It definitely is one of those verses that pierces your soul. I certainly struggle with being "lukewarm" in my faith and often forget how much I need Jesus. He alone is the author and perfecter of my faith.

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. Deuteronomy 11:18-21

This is the one I am working on. As you can see, it is a lot to memorize! I can paraphrase it, but I'm working on really knowing the words. I hope to apply this by frequently talking to Hannah about Jesus and making every thought captive to Christ.

Speaking of Hannah, she now says "amen" and attempts to say "Bible". She also folds her hands to pray when we prompt her. It's so adorable!

Weekly Grocery Budget

We did even better this week!

Here is what we spent:

Target: $17.39 (Saved $.59)
Meijer: $73.05 (Saved $16.55)
Walgreens: $9.66 (Saved $6.33)

Total Spent: $100.10
Total Saved: $23.47

Between tracking our budget, cooking, using coupons, and buying store brand/items on sale, I am so encouraged by this endeavor to save money on our grocery budget.

Next week we will have a budget of $125 which still keeps us with our $600 monthly goal for January.

I Am

I Am...happier than I was a few months ago.

I Want...to be pregnant.

I Have...little motivation for housework.

I Wish...we could both be stay at home parents.

I Hate...ignorant sayings.

I Fear...Hell.

I Hear...voices outside.

I Search...for the best ways to spend, give, and invest our money.

I Wonder...what our family will look like in 5 years.

I Regret...my attitude during my first pregnancy.

I Love...my family.

I Ache...for those who have lost loved ones.

I Always...check my email.

I Usually...fall asleep on the couch.

I Am Not...a fan of sports.

I Dance...way less than I used to.

I Sing...in the car.

I Never...eat seafood.

I Rarely...walk anywhere.

I Cry...when I get overwhelmed.

I Am Not Always...as servant hearted as I could be.

I Lose...time when I waste it online.

I'm Confused...about the different types of mutual funds.

I Need...more time in the Word.

I Should...have made wiser choices.

Grocery Budget

Well we definitely went over our $150/week budget. However, we did stock up on a lot of items. This should mean that the next few weeks will be low enough to hit our monthly goal of $600. This is down from the $650-700 minimum we were doing before!

Here's what we spent at each store:

Aldi's: $48.25
Meijer: $75.11 (saved $20.95)
Rite Aid: $30.31 (saved $8.49)
Walgreens: $15.05 (saved $11.90)
L&L: $2.75 (saved $.60)

Total spent this week: $171.47
Total savings this week: $41.94

So we went over budget by $21.47, but we stocked up on meat, toiletries, and fruit.

The goal next week is to spend $100 or less. Considering we usually spend between $150-200, I'm not sure how this will go!

Bible Verse Monday

So in addition to cutting our family's grocery budget, I also want to memorize two Bible verses/month. This was inspired by Beth Moore's Siesta Scripture Memory. I will not be following along with that program, but rather doing it on my own. I absolutely love accountability, but Beth Moore's style of writing really doesn't fit me.

Anyways, here is the first verse I am attempting to memorize: "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

I originally wanted a verse about wisdom, but this one caught my eye instead! In order to help me memorize it, I plan to read it aloud 5x each day. I learn well through repetition. So hopefully by the end of 2011, I will have 24 new verses memorized!

Year in Review

2010 was definitely an eventful year. Here's a list of some of the big things:

-Enjoyed time with my wonderful husband and adorable daughter
-Bought our first house
-Got pregnant then sadly miscarried
-Began developing a budget and being more mindful of our spending
-Started to cook at least 3 nights/week
-Started a 529 for Hannah and Roth IRAs for both of us

We are hoping that 2011 brings us a new baby to love and the purchase of an investment property.

I also have a New Year's Resolution: To lower our monthly grocery/household expenses

We currently spend at least $650/month on food and household items. My goal will be to drop that to a maximum of $500/month in the next year. That would save us $1800/year. Here are some ways we will be saving:

-Using coupons & shopping the sales
-COOKING (greatly reducing pre-made dinners!)
-Checking what we have regularly and not wasting food

Here's to a great 2011! Happy New Year!

Christmas

Ours was lovely! We spent Christmas Eve with my mother-in-law & family and Christmas with Dave's dad and my family later on in the evening. Here are some pictures:






In other news, we have started cooking more of our meals. We typically would eat processed meals like Digiorno's, Stouffer's Lasagna, Tyson pre-cooked chicken, etc. We would only cook pasta or Kraft Mac & Cheese. We now make MUCH less of that and are cooking things like Chicken & Rice, Baked Smothered Chicken, Pork Chops, Pasta Pizza, and more! We use basic cookbooks and Meijer Mealbox. Overall, we have made some pretty good meals! Once December is over, I will total up our grocery bill to see if we saved any money. I hope so!

So what have I been doing?

Moving on. Or trying to, at least.

The past month I've been trying harder to find ways to make and invest money. I'm making $20+ a month doing online surveys. Dave and I are starting to talk about investing in real estate. We have some money that would be better put to use in an investment than a bank account. We plan to buy somewhat locally and have a property manager take care of the house. We also know we want to purchase a single family home and not a condo or townhouse. The real estate adventure will probably be in the spring as we want a few more months to save money. Plus we would rather buy a house in warm weather. We are NOT interested in adding another mortgage (incidentally, we are well on our way to paying off our home early!), so we will be putting 100% down.

Hannah is talking more and more and loves her new play kitchen. After Christmas, I'll likely post some pictures from the holidays. We have a busy week planned with trips to my mother-in-law's, father-in-law's, and my grandparents over a two day period.

I still want another baby. The focus on real estate, work, and Hannah are distracting me a bit, but it still feels like an ache in my heart. We are praying that this is our month. Even though the due date would be September 11, 2011. And even though it would mean missing the first two months of the school year. We should know in 2-3 weeks if we expecting a new little one yet.

Busy times

Well we've all been through the runner, here.

About 2 weeks ago, Hannah got diagnosed with her first ear infection. She was put on antibiotics for a couple days and all seemed fine. Then that weekend she spiked a high fever and was miserable. Turns out she had a throat infection too. One shot at the pediatrician made her better, though! Then a few days later, I caught an eye infection and the flu. Finally, we are all healthy.

Almost.

TMI, but I am still bleeding from my miscarriage. Yes, 6.5 weeks later it's still going on. I thought it was AF, but I just don't know. My OB wants me to redo my blood work to check my hcg levels and make sure my iron isn't too low. I also have to do an ultrasound and have a follow-up visit. My appointment is on Tuesday. I'm nervous. It could be anything from an infection to remaining tissue to a hormonal imbalance to Lord knows what else.

She finally showed her ugly face

AF did, that is.

And now we can possibly begin the road of TTC again. I've been waiting for this for over a month and now that it's so soon, I'm starting to get scared. Scared that maybe we'll miscarry again or that it will take a long time. I'm trying to trust and pray that God knows best. He knows what to do. ::Sigh:: I always knew about the high risk of miscarriage, but I have now completely lost any naivete about pregnancy. There will always be that fear of spotting or just not feeling right.

Shall we lighten the mood a bit?



We didn't go trick or treating because it was a bit cold that night. Instead we dressed her up and had her look cute by the door!

Perpetual State of Waiting

I'm whining, I know.

Really though, I feel like I'm waiting for so many things.

-My hcg levels to go down to 0
-AF to arrive
-TTC again
-Getting pregnant
-Dave leaving his job

I am trying so hard to be patient, and I honestly feel like my heart has been more trusting in the Lord. I think I'm just so anxious for those events to occur that I think about them frequently.

One of the shining spots in life is that Hannah is such a joy right now. She's been a bit cranky about going to bed but I hope it's just a short term phase. She recently learned how to blow kisses, and it's just about the cutest thing she's ever done.

We've been reading a chapter of Proverbs aloud during snack time every day too. I know she doesn't understand what it means but I think it's important to expose her to Bible principles and verses at a young age. I want her to grow up familiar with the terms and lessons within. After we read, we also pray which I think is so important for Hannah to see and for us to do as a family.

I think it's time for another Bump break.

I stopped going on that site for about 2 weeks. I went back on and only would go on for about 10 minutes every few days. Fine by me.

Then it increased. Now I'm starting to want to be on it for 1 hour+ each day. Not the best idea. I think it's time to stop again-maybe for at least 3 weeks this time.

Hannah has had such a language explosion! She now says ball, baby, Jesus, Papa, mama, dada, duck ("guck"), and maybe a couple of other words. It is so cute to see her point to Jesus in her Bible stories and say "Jees." Love it!

I am still anxiously awaiting the chance to get pregnant again. The loss doesn't sting as much as it did, but I am looking forward to moving on. I thought I was getting AF today, but I'm 99% sure it was just more bleeding. My hcg levels were are 17 as of yesterday. I was hoping they'd be at zero, but hopefully they will be by next week.

Laziest person ever

That's me.

I swear all I do is spend time on the computer.

Anyways, time for some updates:

Hannah news: She is saying so many more words. It's been a complete word explosion in the last few weeks. She now says ball, baby, papa, Jesus, lunch, and of course mama and dada. She's getting really good at climbing up and down the stairs and she kisses everything. It's so cute!

My miscarriage recovery is going well. My beta hcg levels were at 31,000 when I went to the ER on Sept 25th. As of Thursday, they were at 81. I'm happy with the relatively rapid decline. I'm anxious for AF for get here so we can restart the process of TTC.

Dave and I are also doing well. With him working more morning shifts, we've have some extra time together in the evenings. I think it helps me feel a bit more connected, for which I am grateful.

Impatience

Throughout the last few weeks, my church has been doing a series on sins that are "not that bad" Sins like anxiety and impatience.

Impatience. Now there is one I struggle with.



That picture? That is exactly how I'm feeling on several occasions. I get so impatient with slow drivers, or getting lost, or not being able to find a place to park. I get impatient with the internet and things not working the way I think they should.

I'm paraphrasing here, but our pastor created a working definition of impatience that goes something like this: Feeling very annoyed by the perceived faults and failures of others. That's me. And that's sin.

My goal this week will be to pray when I start to feel impatience. Specifically, to pray for those to whom I am so impatient. And to remember this verse:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

Rambling

I've had a lot of thoughts and emotions rolling through my head lately, and I'm going to attempt to make a coherent post.

1. I'm not as sad as I thought I would be. Or should be. I feel like I'm mourning a pregnancy that didn't work. I'm sad that our pregnancy wasn't viable, and I wish it didn't happen. But I don't feel like I'm grieving someone's death. Knowing that a baby never developed is really helping me come to terms with this loss.

2. There are things that still make the miscarriage "hit" me, so to speak. Like reading Bill and Guilliana Rancic's story of IVF then miscarriage. I nearly cried reading that article because pregnancy loss sucks enough without having to need fertility treatments to get there in the first place. We are forever grateful and blessed to have high mutual fertility. And a quote I read today nearly made me lose it: "Lord, I would have loved a chance to sit my baby on my lap and tell him about You. I didn't get a chance, so would you sit him on Your lap and tell him about me?" I'm not sure how Biblical it is, but it affected me all the same.

3. I want to get pregnant again. Soon. Right now we plan on waiting for AF to arrive and then going from there. We're trying to weigh doctor's advice with an overwhelming Godly desire to create life again.

More thoughts on the miscarriage

One of the many things this miscarriage has taught me is not to avoid TTC for stupid reasons.

I do really want to wait a year between full term pregnancies. I think it's healthier for me and baby, though I understand why others choose differently. And I get waiting if you really just can't afford another, though we are doing well financially. Thank God!

However, I used to say things like "I want a spring or summer baby. I don't want to be stuck at home all winter with a newborn and fall birthdays are complicated with when to send them to kindergarten." Ridiculous. Now I honestly don't care when another baby comes. I just want a healthy baby and whether it's in October or July isn't really that big of an issue. I also don't care how it affects work. If I can get pregnant with an August baby, I'll have to miss the first month of school. Oh well. There are more important things.

I was right

Though I wish I wasn't.

After some bleeding this weekend, I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. So even though I should be 9 weeks, at 6 weeks something went wrong. Biology didn't happen the way it should and no baby developed. Just a gestational sac.

I am really trying to see the silver lining. At least there wasn't a baby that died. God knows best. This wasn't the baby that was supposed to join our family. It doesn't help though that I got it confirmed on my birthday.

I need to take Cytotec this weekend to pass everything. It should take roughly 24 hours then I go back next week to make sure everything went okay. I also need to get weekly blood draws until my body realizes it isn't pregnant anymore. I was told to wait 3 cycles before trying again, but I'm not waiting that long.